Alone

Sitting in silence...
Listening to Mr. Bobby Caldwell with his Real Thing...
It's 10.12pm now
So restless...
My mind is wandering freely
Unfocus
But I feel comfortable
Honestly...I like being alone
No need to share things with others
No need to speak up
No need to listen to
Am I too selfish?
Dunno

I like being alone
Noone can touch me
Noone can hurt me
Noone can hush hush me

Being alone...
I have my freedom

Gym Time

Finally....after having some considerations I stepped into Fitness First at Plaza Semanggi. Hahaha it's like taking a giant leap. Me, definetely not a sport person, became a member of a health club. And enrolled for 12 months! Ckckck...will I survive there?

After paid the enrollment fee, the sales guy took me to the training floor. He introduced me to one of the trainers there who then took my data ie weight, height, body fat, calories etc etc. Whaaattt?? I'm 53 kg and my body fat is 26 point something % while my calories is only thousand something. So, my goal is to gain 24% for fat and more calories.

Well....let's see what's gonna happen in the next few months. Will I lose some fat and kilos? Or will I be stuck after couple of sessions? I can still enjoy threadmill and body combat class tho.

Tomorrow's plan. Buy sneakers, socks, T-shirts and shorts. Action is important but preparation is way more important :))

Thank You Mandala..

I was browsing some airlines for my return ticket when I saw a headline about Mandala which will not operate again starting tomorrow due to bankruptcy or here. Oh nooooooooo!!!! I just bought my ticket yesterday and now they release that news??? I am so very sure that I (and all other passangers) will not ever get a refund.

Luckily, it's only one way and promo but still shocking. Why did they accept reservation yesterday? This must have been predicted before, right?

And by the way, here is my e-ticket :(

Trial and Error

This is called trial and error.
Seems it's not gonna happen. At least not now. Perhaps years from now?
But I look so pretty, don't I? hahaha

I did enjoy this moment....

Counting The Days

12.39am dan belum bisa tidur. Mendadak mellow...

6 hari dari sekarang dan semuanya nggak akan sama lagi. Kebersamaan ini terpisah jarak lagi. Rasanya dilema. Mau nggak sedih, hati ini nggak bisa diajak kompromi. Ketakutan itu muncul lagi. Tapi kalau dia tau apa yang aku rasa, dia akan berangkat dengan hati nggak tenang padahal harusnya bersyukur karena nggak harus jobless terlalu lama.

Tuhan...
Saya nggak bisa selalu ada di samping dia
tapi kiranya Tuhan jaga dia
biar kebaikan yang dia punya boleh jadi berkat buat sekitarnya
dan kekurangan yang ada, boleh dia perbaiki
di tempat baru, dia boleh belajar banyak hal baru

Tuhan...
jaga saya di sini...
supaya boleh tunggu dia dan dengan seijinMu, suatu saat nanti kami bisa wujudkan rencana kami
pada waktuMu

Tuhan...
saya sayang dia...
jaga cinta kami

When We Pray

When we pray, sturdy in the fire
when we pray, take away the worlds desire
when we pray, Holy spirit lift us higher
when we pray, when we pray
When we pray, let it not be for a season
when we pray, give us wisdom and not reason
when we pray, let Your name be our petition
when we pray, when we pray, when we pray
When you pray, lean not on your understanding
when you pray, just take hold of His commandments
when you pray, know that He hears you crying
when you pray, when you pray
When you pray, let it not be for a season
when you pray, ask for wisdom and not reason
when you pray, let His name be your petition
when you pray, when you pray

Lead us in Your righteous ways
turn our hearts to seek Your face
wash away all iniquity
Search the inner part within
wipe away every sin
at Thy throne of grace I bow my knees

First time I heard this song, it touched me so deeply. I must admit that I did not pray for so long intentionally. I was too 'tired'....felt that there's no easy way for this situation. I gave up. With all problems within these months.

Now, as I'm counting the days, I wish I could have started it again. Crossing my fingers and talking to Him. I know He knows my heart. He knows what I'm feeling right now. This burden...

So help me Lord...